Wednesday, October 30, 2019
Close Reading about Poem Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words
Close Reading about Poem - Essay Example . The opening of the poem, ââ¬Å"my heart aches, and a drowsy numbness painsâ⬠indicate that the mood of song is mellow (Keates Stanza 1 line 1). The author is trying to achieve the nightingaleââ¬â¢s pure realm and escape from the troubles and darkness of the world through his drink. The nightingalesââ¬â¢ voice sends him into a trance making him cheery and unable to focus on anything else. This is evident when he says, ââ¬Å"Singest of summer in full-throated easeâ⬠(Keates Stanza 1 Line 10). His view of the world as a dark place is a product of his health problems and the fact that he became an orphan in his early teenage years and forced by circumstances to care for his sick brother. In as much as he is drunk, his tone is sober and enlightened. The nightingalesââ¬â¢ songs turn his sorrow to joy and pain to pleasure. He imagines smelling flowers and drinking wine in the green country in the suns warmth and becoming one with the nightingale, ââ¬Å"Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forgetâ⬠(Stanza 3 line 1). This shows his longing of a lively, enjoyable world. He comes to his senses in the sixth stanza when the reality of his mortality hits him hard. He is attracted to the nightingalesââ¬â¢ song and realizes that the bird is incapable of experiencing pain and comprehending the pain of death. To him the bird is immortal because many people transverse all generations and history have heard the nightingale sing. When the nightingale flies off, the speaker feels lonely and disappointed. He feels he lacks the freedom of the nightingales and yearns to come to such freedom and usefulness. Perhaps death is his release (Cunningham & Reich & Fichner 127). Finally, in understanding this poem it is noteworthy to mention that the poet composed this poem after the demise of his brother. The poem expresses the reality of the duality of human experiences using imagery and melancholy. The different
Monday, October 28, 2019
Kant vs. Kierkegaard Essay Example for Free
Kant vs. Kierkegaard Essay I also believe that the issue that I am discussing is deep, and therefore interesting. Its weaknesses would be its lack of quotes. The difficulty with this paper was trying to find the idea in the first place. It took me a lot of time to find deep similarities and differences between the two. It also took me some time to figure out how I would lay the essay out and how I would flesh the essay out. As this paper is not superficial, I found myself finding new ideas and problem as time passed. This gave me another problem as I always had to rethink and re-edit. The goals for my next paper are to include more quotes, as my papers lack evidence. My other goals are to carry on writing interesting and thought provoking papers. I aim to try to make my essays as clear as possible, as tackling deep issues can sometimes make the writing quite convoluted. Love of Duty vs. Love of Choice In their essays ââ¬ËLectures on Ethics Friendshipââ¬â¢ and ââ¬ËWorks of Love ââ¬â Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighborââ¬â¢, respectively, Kant and Kierkegaard both appear as idealists: They each portray a utopia in which friendship is universal. Kant believes that perfection can be achieved if people put love of mankind before love of oneself, and Kierkegaard believes that perfection can be achieved if you love everyone as if they were your neighbor. Ironically, both also contradict themselves: Kant contradicts his other idea that one will never be able to achieve the ideal of friendship, where partners share everything with each other. While Kierkegaard contradicts himself by saying a true Christian is completely selfless. This is a contradiction, as someone who is selfless cannot have a choice (free will), but as rational humans we do have a choice. Given these parallels, are these two thinkers ultimately offering us the same sense of utopia? No ââ¬â in fact, Kant is a realist who uses a scientific approach to figure out what it means to be a friend, whereas Kierkegaard is a religious thinker who applies his religious morality on people. Their utopias look very similar on the surface, but their underlying methods to reach them are vastly different. Both Kant and Kierkegaard come from two very different backgrounds. Kant was born in Prussia, and was interested in physics and mathematics. He didnââ¬â¢t have a positive view of religion was also asked to stop teaching Theology at the University of Konigsberg by the government as he allegedly ââ¬Ëmisrepresentedââ¬â¢ the principles of Christianity. This shows that Kant was a thinker independent of religion. Kant believed that ââ¬Å"mankindââ¬â¢s final coming of age,â⬠was ââ¬Å"the emancipation of the human consciousness from an immature state of ignorance and error. â⬠This is the opposite of Kierkegaard, as he was a devout Christian. Kierkegaard tried to incorporate religion (Christian morality) with reason. This is where he comes up with his idea of ââ¬Ëloving thy neighborââ¬â¢. Whereas Kierkegaard comes from a position that his way is the ââ¬Ërightââ¬â¢ way, as it was mandated from God, Kant comes from a position which is influenced by Rousseau and Aristotle, in fact Kantââ¬â¢s idea of man having self-love and love for humanity comes straight from Rousseauââ¬â¢s book ââ¬ËThe Discourse on the Origin of Inequalityââ¬â¢. There is also a deeper difference: Kierkegaardââ¬â¢s religious morality implies duty, whereas Kantââ¬â¢s view on friendship implies choice. Choice lies at the heart of Kantââ¬â¢s philosophy. He says that man has two basic instincts: self-love and love for humanity (pity). These two instincts conflict with each other and only one can win. Kant believes that in an ideal world, all people would put love for humanity before self-love. This would create a world where love is reciprocated, and therefore man does not have to worry about losing his happiness. In essence, Kantââ¬â¢s version of a utopia is where man chooses to love humanity. This is vastly different to Kierkegaardââ¬â¢s version, where man has no choice, as it is his moral duty to love everyone as if they were his neighbor. Kierkegaard does acknowledge Kant in a way, by distinguishing between earthly love and spiritual love. He says earthly love (Kantââ¬â¢s type of love) is the exact opposite of spiritual love. He argues that a ââ¬Ëpoetââ¬â¢ (Kant) is absolutely right in saying that earthly love cannot be commanded. Kierkegaard believes that Christian love is better as it is ââ¬Ëcompletely selflessââ¬â¢. For Kierkegaard, ââ¬Å"Christian love teaches love to all men, unconditionally all. Just as unconditionally and strongly as earthly love tends towards the idea of there being but one single object of love, equally unconditionally and strongly Christian love tends in the opposite direction. If a man with respect to Christian love wishes to make an exception in the case of one man whom he does not wish to love, then such love is not ââ¬Ëalso Christian love,ââ¬â¢ but it is unconditionally not Christian love. â⬠(41) Kierkegaard also believes that it is quite liberating to be forced to love. As if the absence of choice creates peace. He believes that ââ¬Å"it is encouraging in your relation to a distinguished man, that in him you must love your neighbor; it is humbling in relation to the inferior, that you do not have to love the inferior on him, but must love your neighbor; it is a saving grace if you do it, for you must do itâ⬠(50). Thus the difference between earthly and spiritual love is that earthly love is a choice and spiritual love is a command from God. Both Kierkegaard and Kant come to different conclusions because in their writing, their focus is on separate ideas. Kant, being a man of reason primarily, approaches his philosophy in a scientific manner. To explain, he breaks one thing into smaller things. Kant makes observations based on what he sees, hears, tastes, smells, and feels (like his three types of friendships). However, he does also make some conceptual assumptions (discussed earlier) such as his idea of putting love of humanity before self-love will cause reciprocation of friendship. Unlike Kierkegaard, Kant does not focus on religion as it is unnecessary for someone who is only interested in empirical observations. Kierkegaard however is not concerned with empirical observation, as he believes that there is something higher and more important i. e. Christianity. Kierkegaard concentrates more on morality and what he believes is right, instead of focusing on what is actually there. Kierkegaard doesnââ¬â¢t even talk about friendship in his writing. This shows that he places much more importance on what his religion says is right instead of trying to observe and deconstruct what friendship is. Although both philosophers have radically different ideas on how to achieve a utopian world, their ideas as an end result are very similar. They both want a world in which everyone loves everyone. The difference is that Kantââ¬â¢s love comes from reason, whereas Kierkegaardââ¬â¢s is spiritual. For this reason Kantââ¬â¢s idea seems more logical to the rational human being. Kant doesnââ¬â¢t believe in forced love, he believes in a choice to put either love of humanity or love of oneself at the fore. Kierkegaardââ¬â¢s idea of loving as a moral duty is contradictory at its heart, because how can you love if you donââ¬â¢t have a choice who to love? If you ââ¬Ëloveââ¬â¢ everyone it stops being love because love is defined by its opposite. How can there be love without hate? If it canââ¬â¢t exist, then how feasible is Kierkegaardââ¬â¢s idea? This is the main problem with Kierkegaard, because his observations come from his faith. In the real world, love should come from understanding, not dogma. If there is no understanding, itââ¬â¢s like a slavery of the mind. Works Cited Immanuel Kant, ââ¬Å"Lectures on Ethicsâ⬠, Ethics. Trans. Louis Infield, Harper Torchbooks, The Cloister Library, Harper Row Publishers, New York and Evanston. Soren Kierkegaard, ââ¬Å"Works of Loveâ⬠, Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighbor. Trans. David F. Swenson Lillian Marvin Swenson, Princeton ââ¬â New Jersey, Princeton University Press.
Saturday, October 26, 2019
Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and the World :: World War II History
Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and the World Einstein first told president Roosevelt about the tremendous power of fused uranium in the late 1930's. Soon after this news from Einstein the atom bomb was built and tested. With bombs ready, Truman is faced with a decision. America is in the middle of World War II with no end in sight. He decides to deploy two atomic bombs on two Japanese cities. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the two fateful cities. The atomic bombs give relief to America because it ends the war. Even though America wins the war they defeat the whole purpose of keeping the world secure by bringing turbulence not only to Japan, but the rest of the world. Truman stops the torture and death for American soldiers fighting in the war. Truman, though, showed total disregard for the well being of the world. Uranium was the explosive used in both bombs. The explosion of an atomic bomb is equal to 15,000 tons of TNT. In the bomb, a piece of uranium is propelled into a larger piece of uranium and they fuse into a phase called critical mass. After this a chain reaction of fission occurs. In fission, atoms are split, and neutrons hit each other causing supplementary fission. Fission causes an enormous amount of energy in the form of extreme heat, a massive shock wave, and the lasting effect of radiation. As soon as the bomb explodes a wave of heat ranging from 1,000 to 15,000 degrees engulfs everything in a mile radius. The shock wave destroyed most of the buildings within the mile radius. After the blast, radiation from gamma rays and neutrons cause death and injury. The bombs caused death in Japan and feelings of insecurity for the remainder of the world. The bomb called," Little Boy," was dropped on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 at approximately 8:15 a.m. Three days before the bombing fliers were dropped from aircrafts warning Hiroshima that they were going to be victims of a destructive weapon. The bomb was dropped from the altitude of six miles by a B-52 bomber named Enola Gay. The bomb exploded a thousand feet from ground. It leveled five square city miles. In this bombing 70,000 innocent people died. It was said that everybody in the city lost somebody. After the blast a metal lunch pale of a schoolgirl was found about 1,000 feet from the blast, she was not.
Thursday, October 24, 2019
Rethinking Our World
Rethinking our world Linguistic analysis: * Claims that almost all philosophical problems can be dispensed with once their underlying linguistic basis is exposed * No matter how hard we try to solve a problem we fail, then we are dealing with a false problem/ meaningless set of words * 2 British philosophers = Bertrand Russell & AJ Ayer * Focused on logic, linguistic meaning & verifiable facts Help us do: * Think more clearly * Be precise in what we mean * Spot hidden assumptions & dishonesty in all forms of propaganda Canââ¬â¢t help us with: * Moral problems * Life choices * Facing own mortality Seeing the people we love suffer * Our own suffering Logical symbolism & argument: * Arrive at the basic structure of truth * Process is facilitated by representing objects & relationships symbolically * Any statement that is true/false by definition can be expressed in form of symbolic logic Empiricism: * Gained through traditional 5 senses(seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting) g ives us our most reliable form of information * Concerned with establishing the truth by means of scientific testing * Searching for objective truth * Linguistic analysis, logical symbolism & empiricism = logical mpiricism Can help us: * Understand how our physical world operates * Test truth of certain claims * Refute what is false * Respect natural laws of the Universe * Learn from experience Failings: * Places too much emphasis on science * Ignores human values * Views human beings as machines * Tend to ignore anything that canââ¬â¢t be explained scientifically * Confines truths to that which can be experiences through senses Critical Rationalism: * Encourage questioning & open-mindedness * Socrates, 470-399 BC * Challenge existing ideas & beliefs by questioning them * Essential for the future of true democracy Emphasis that scientists must be objective * Completely against societies where people canââ¬â¢t speak their minds freely & discuss things openly * Focuses on avoidi ng falsity Help us to do: * Question what people in authority tell us * Be more open to what other people think * Examine our own opinions more carefully * Be more tolerant & understanding * Solve problems Canââ¬â¢t help us to do: * Make quik decisions * Find meaning of life * Can make us feel insecure * Solve problem of suffering Types of false argument: * Name-calling * False cause & effect Falsely representing an opinion in order to discredit it * Appeal to emotion * Falsely claiming that, because a point of view is popular, it must be true Existentialism: * What is meaning of life? * Modern believe that ââ¬Å"our dutyâ⬠is to decide for ourselves what life is about Can help us to do: * Question other peopleââ¬â¢s ideas & values * Be more open about ourselves * Trust our instincts * Spot fakes * Enjoy life more Failings: * Too trusting * Can be confusing * May lead to despair * May leave us feeling helpless & angry * May be seriously disruptive Nihilism: * Philosophy of nothing No purpose in life = waste of time * Can lead to violence & chaos, but also free people who have grown up in very repressive religious environments African philosophy: * Holistic philosophy which shares certain ideas with Buddhism philosophy: it stresses the importance of human community & communityââ¬â¢s place in the Universe * Claims that happiness at least partially consists of living for others, supporting each other * Itââ¬â¢s an anti-materialistic philosophy Can do: * Build communities * Encourage human beings to be more humble * Give deeper understanding of ourselves * Help us appreciate mystery Re-examine need for tradition in human life Canââ¬â¢t help us do: * Doesnââ¬â¢t challenge power structures * Unable to accept women as menââ¬â¢s equals * Doesnââ¬â¢t encourage critical thinking * Tends to ignore needs of individual person * Tolerates cruel superstitious practices System theory: * Sees things as a whole rather than splitting things into par ts & encourages us to keep the objective of a system in mind The enneagram & Human personality: 1. Reformer 2. Helper 3. Movie star 4. Individualist 5. Scientist 6. Loyal supporter 7. Pleasure-seeker 8. Achiever 9. Peacemaker Critical theory: Most famous version = Maxism ââ¬â wants to abolish all inequalities of wealth & all social inequalities Influences: * Maxism * Feminism * Black rights movements * Postmodernist thinking * Socialism Help us do: * Realistically assess power * Identify those who have power & those who donââ¬â¢t * Identify weaknesses in existing power relations * Define own, personal power & weaknesses * Re-examine our priorities * Re-assess our lives Fails: * Become fanatical * Sometimes too simplistic in its analysis of power * Too idealistic * Lead to despair & violence * Ignore human emotions & desires * Very grim philosophyReligious Leaders & social criticism: * Buddha- Buddhism: search for reality using, primarily powers of the mind Path consists of: * right thinking * right attitude * right means of earning a living * right conduct * right views * right speaking * right effort * right concentration * Moses: on a call for social justice under the One God. * Mohammed: vision of society was of all humankind united under Allah * Jesus of Nazareth: radical criticism of oppressive social & economic structures & His single-minded focus on what He called ââ¬Å"The Kingdom of Godâ⬠* Karl Marx: stood for hope & better tomorrowFeminism: * Sexual stereotyping * Creating bigger place for women in the world * Rejecting view that women are inferior to men Type of feminism: * Critical rasionalism: questions traditions * Critical theory: challenges all forms of power * Empiricism: asks us to look at reality objectively & social reality * African philosophy: attempts to decolonise the efforts of domination by white males * Logical empiricism: feminism precisely define problems women face Claims: * Women people in own right * Women should r eject menââ¬â¢s definitions of what makes a women valuable * Not make defensive claims to ââ¬Å"equality with menâ⬠Womenââ¬â¢s happiness doesnââ¬â¢t depend on having a romantic/marital relationship with a man * Have right to pronounce an abortion ââ¬â men donââ¬â¢t get pregnant & bear children Phenomenology: * Look at things & ourselves as they really are * Believes theories about themselves, life & Universe can be very misleading ââ¬â lead to falsehood & deep unhappiness * Promote religious belief * Confront ourselves in all our ambiguity & complexity & thus get nearer to ââ¬Å"real meâ⬠* Encourages us to resist power structures by a process of retreat & non-engagement rather than confrontation Hermeneutics: * Greek ââ¬â interpretations Similar to existentialism * Take imaginaryy & symbolism seriously * Claims that arts & crafts are important in human life * Believes happiness is linked to our own creativity in whatever form thet takes * Encour ages us to be poets, writers, authors, actors, painters, designers Main ideas: * Emphasis the importance of listening & observing * Claims that individualââ¬â¢s life-experience influences the way he/she understands world * Affirms importance of dialogue in arriving at an understanding of any issue * Is anti-authoritorian & encourages the individual to create his/her own meaning & understandingHelp us do: * Create meaning * Discover own hidden artistic abilities * Resist scientific arrogance & domination * Understand each other * Be more tolerant of each other Canââ¬â¢t help us with: * Define problems * Overcome injustice * Be decisive * Take action * Be more logical Modernism: * Science, reason & technology will fix it all Postmodernism: * Doesnââ¬â¢t believe in definitions Examines following aspects of human condition: * Way in which we see ourselves * Failure of science to solve many problems Fact that reason may not be a good guide to solving certain problems * Power of large, modern institutions over individual * Need to experience all our emotions to the full * Our inner needs * Mental anguish & illness * Where we get our standards of right/wrong * Trust these standards * Criminality & delinquency * Technology is morally neutral Methods of enquiry in philosophy: * Phenomenology: who are we? * Hermeneutics: symbols & images speak to us * Empiricism: what is actually going on * Some forms of feminism: who says the male is the ââ¬Å"normâ⬠?
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
Joyceââ¬â¢s novel Essay
The novels Mrs. Dalloway and A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, written by Virginia Woolf and James Joyce respectively, are tales of persons who are challenged by the society in which they live. The roles traditionally handed down to men and women become elements of restraint for many of the characters within the stories. While convention dictates the actions that the characters should perform, the readers get the impression that the authors are in opposition to these traditions. Throughout the day spent with Mrs. Dalloway and her friends, situations arise in which characters become critical of othersââ¬â¢ choices in a way that depicts the ideas of the narrator or author. Likewise, in the experiences of Stephen Dedalus and the other characters of Joyceââ¬â¢s novel, one finds that they often desire to perform actions alien to the stereotypical roles of their genders. In these novels, therefore, we find that there is no apparent desire within characters for males or females to inherit traditional gendered roles. In fact, we discover a desire to occupy a multi-gendered identity. This is important because it gestures at an identity separate from societal construction of gender. Hermione Lee relates that Virginia Woolf sought a ââ¬Å"combination of sensibility and tenacityâ⬠in her work (xvii). This suggests a similar mixing of feminine and masculine qualities with which she imbues several of her characters in Mrs. Dalloway. Clarissa Dalloway has become a woman who ostensibly fits perfectly within the role societally configured for her gender. She is the wife of a statesman and the mother of a beautiful daughter. She throws fine parties and does the traditional female jobs of overseeing the servants, visiting the sick, and other things. Yet, Woolf appears immediately to intimate to the reader the undesirability of all this tradition to Clarissa herself, as she is seen at the outset of the novel going on an errand that should normally have been reserved for her servants. Her desire for independence is asserted in the first sentence, ââ¬Å"Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself (Woolf 1). Though this rebellion is a small one and is buried in the guise of ââ¬Å"womanlyâ⬠work (going to buy flowers), the commercial aspect of it places her in the position of a business person, just as the errand frees her from the confines of the home. On this walk she thinks of Peter Walsh, a man with whom she once shared her passions for literature and freedom. Her thoughts and desires break through conventions that dictate the subservience of women. She considers marriage in a way that seems alien to its constitution, as she imbues her role in it with the type of independence that one does not usually find in the traditional view of marriage. She explains that her decision against marrying Peter was made because ââ¬Å"In marriage a little licence, a little independence there must be between people living together day in day out in the same house; which Richard gave her, and she himâ⬠(Woolf 5). This demonstrates the extent to which she desires not to be subsumed by her husband as women often are in marriages. Continuing, she thinks, ââ¬Å"When it came to that scene in the little garden by the fountain, she had to break with him [Peter] or they would have been destroyed, both of them ruined, she was convincedâ⬠(6). This tells what she considers her life would have been like with Peter. She seeks to add a portion of masculinity to her role by keeping something of herself and continuing to show herself to the worldââ¬âa right that is usually granted without reservation to married men, but tacitly withheld from women of that time. Clarissa continues to demonstrate her inner tendencies to throw off the traditional gender role and to fulfill her political and occupational dreams. During that time in England, womenââ¬â¢s occupations were limited to household-related chores. She considers other women who had lived non-traditional lives, and longs to have her life to live again so she could make different choices. The first of those choices would have granted her an occupation that would defy her gender. The narrator assures us that Clarissa Dalloway ââ¬Å"would have been, like Lady Bexborough, slow and stately; rather large; interested in politics like a man; with a country house; very dignified, very sincereâ⬠(Woolf 8). The use of the phrase ââ¬Å"like a manâ⬠is telling, in that it highlights the extent to which Mrs. Dalloway longs to be released from the confines of her sex. She wants to be endowed with the possibilities that attend a man. Also telling is her desire to be ââ¬Å"very sincereâ⬠(8). Sincerity is not a trait that has been traditionally accorded to women, as they were encouraged to keep their thoughts to themselves (or perhaps not to have any at all). Therefore, a woman with any ideas or opinions can be considered to have been somewhat forced into insincerity by their very act of subordination to the will of their husband and in their pretence at never having anything to say beyond remarks about the running of the household. Clarissaââ¬â¢s urge to speak sincerely demonstrates her desire to combine traditionally masculine qualities with her feminine ones.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
Why computers are useful essays
Why computers are useful essays What is a computer? A Computer is an electronic device that can receive a set of instructions, or program, and then carry out this program by performing calculations on numerical data or by compiling and correlating other forms of information. Computers have been part of this world for a very long time since 1936. The first programmable computer that was made in 1936 was by Konrad Zuse. Since the first computer was made technology has developed extremely. Computers have played an amazing role in our world. When computers started to first come out in the United States barely anybody had a computer. Nowadays almost everybody has a computer even if its in their home or in their office. The use of computers has been widely spread throughout the entire world. Computers are now so advanced that they are being used for almost everything. More and more areas are being taken over by the computer. Today the computers and new innovation like the Internet has changed the business world and ev en our daily lives. The computer has made everybodys life easier. Computers are very good because they are useful in schools, useful for making movies, useful in banks, and they are even useful for communication. One of the main places computers have been most useful in is in schools. Students and teachers in schools are now using computers for many reasons. Some of those reasons are from writing papers, researching certain information, keeping grades, and also keeping attendance. One of the main reasons why computers are being put in schools is because of the students. Computers are being put in schools so that students can do certain tasks they cannot do without a computer such as typing a paper or searching certain information for a project. One day our teacher assigned us to do a paper on a certain topic. I really didnt know much about this topic so I went to one of the computers in my school and researched the topic so that I would ...
Monday, October 21, 2019
10 Ways to Turn Writing a Paper into a Drinking Game
10 Ways to Turn Writing a Paper into a Drinking Game College students have long suspected that universities and individual professors must buy stock in paper companies. For some, its the only explanation as to why college seems to be just one paper assignment after another. Conspiracy theories aside, writing papers can be tough. But when the grind wears you down, injecting a bit of fun can help get you over the hump. When it comes to paper writing, its time to turn to the same tactics employed by such literary luminaries as Ernest Hemingway, Raymond Chandler, Tennessee Williams and Hunter S. Thompson: Booze. However, college students cant just kick back with a snifter of brandy and mull over their literary choices. Thats way too pedestrian. Of course, the answer is to turn it into a drinking game. After all, its practically a college tradition. Before you begin, be sure to save a copy of your paper in a completely separate file, preferably on a flash drive. Better safe than sorry. Inspiration may strike during your game, but its always good to have a back up. You dont want to have to reconstruct full pages that fell apart because you got off on a tangent about the therapeutic properties of cat videos. Once you have a backup file saved, pick your poison. You can pick a selection of brews and assign each rule a specific brand or type or you can just pick one and stick with it the whole way through. Chances are it wont matter what you drink ââ¬â the end result will be the same. For extra fun later, turn on Track Changes in your Formatting menu so you can follow along the next morning and see how your editorial decisions changed as the night wore on. Rules of The Paper Writing Drinking Game Every time you run into a 404 tracking down a source, take a drink. If you were tracking it down from Wikipedia, take two drinks. Each time you write yourself into a corner, take a drink. Every time you catch yourself writing in circles, take two. Take a drink for each syllable in any words you have to pronounce out loud in order to spell correctly as you type. If a page has more footnotes than actual text, take two drinks and toast Flann OBrien. Each time you stretch out a single paragraph idea into two or more, take a drink and pat yourself on the back. Take a drink and give yourself a slap for every time you catch yourself on Candy Crush Saga, Farmville or any other pointless FaceBook game. Have another drink each time to catch yourself randomly scrolling down a page and realize you completely forgot what you were looking for. Any time you find yourself in need of a friend with a subscription to JSTOR or LexisNexis, take a drink and hit up any journalism majors who happen to be online. Take another drink every time you catch yourself calculating how many words per minute youll have to write in order to get the paper done tonight. Every time you ask yourself how much bigger you can make the font or contemplating formatting changes to make your paper appear longer, take two drinks. Bonus Shots Any time you re-write a sentence more than 12 times For every set of Block Quotes you use to bulk out a few pages. Every time you say out loud Okay, down to work now. Each time you search around for single words you can stretch into more (i.e. changing it to the field of robotic psychiatry) Every FaceBook status update or Tweet about the progress youve made on your paper. Chances are youll end up with a screen filled with plenty of red squiggly lines and a few good ideas. If you managed to actually finish the paper ââ¬â or this version of it anyway ââ¬â during the game, that earns you a bonus round of whatever quality alcohol you have stashed away. Dont forget to save the fruit of your labor before drinking some water and passing out face first on the keyboard. But the fun isnt over yet! In the morning youll be eligible to play the super fun Bonus Morning After Game! Brew a pot of coffee, wipe off the keyboard and open the file from the night before. Re-read what you wrote and edited the night before. Every time something makes you laugh out loud, take a sip of coffee. Take two every time you read something that makes you wince. Finally, take a big gulp for any sections so inspired you leave them nearly intact in the final version of the paper. Heres also a guide on How to Cure Hangover for those who drank too much yesterday. Did you ever write drunk? Tell us your own story in comments!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)